How to talk to children about news about accidents

News reports about accidents reach both young schoolchildren and small children. News about accidents can confuse and frighten them. Adults can help children simply by being present, listening and remaining calm.

• Give the child time and space to talk about how they feel. Accept and respect the child’s reactions, even if they seem strange. Children are not able to talk about their concerns in the same way as adults. Children and young people may express their confusion and fear by laughing or making jokes. This may confuse or anger adults. However, it is important not to dismiss the child’s feelings. Their feelings should be treated with understanding and their questions answered patiently. Give the child time and the opportunity to express, understand and process the incident in their own way.
• Answer the child or young person’s questions honestly, but without causing fear or uncertainty. Explain what has happened in a way that is appropriate for the child’s age. Tell them the facts so that they do not resort to their imagination. The imagination tends to exaggerate and make things worse.
• The child or young person may feel a strong sense of insecurity as a result of what has happened. How could something like this have happened?
• Remain as calm as possible. However, you can say that you are shocked and upset by what has happened. Children’s reactions are based on the example set by their parents: if an adult behaves as calmly as possible, the child will feel safe. Be aware that the child may have an increased need for closeness.
• Above all, be a safe adult who listens. Accept and respect the child’s reactions, even if they seem strange. Give the child time and the opportunity to express, understand and process the incident in their own way.
• If you notice that a child or young person is withdrawing, initiate a conversation: “I get the feeling that you’re thinking about that awful event. What’s on your mind? Do you feel scared?”
• If your child has seen descriptions of the event on the news or an online video, discuss the thoughts and feelings this has aroused. Do not fill your child’s mind with constant news stories about accidents. Satisfy your own need for information by following the news without your child or young person present and discuss your concerns caused by the event with other adults. This will protect your child from having to recall details unnecessarily. Tell the young person that they should protect themselves and avoid watching videos circulating on the internet, for example.
• Events can find their way into children’s dreams and games. Falling asleep can be difficult, and parents’ support may be needed during the night. Allow even older children to come and sleep next to you if they are feeling anxious or afraid. Children will talk about what has happened among themselves and may joke about it. They may also show an increased interest in death. These are normal ways of processing what has happened, and as a parent, you should not be upset but rather encourage the child or young person to express their feelings.
• Take care of yourself too and talk about how you feel with other adults.
• If your child’s symptoms are severe or continue for a long time, do not hesitate to seek professional help. If you have lost a loved one, it is a good idea to discuss the matter with a professional.